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Sunday, January 01, 2006

The spam skit

Scene: A cafe. One table is occupied by a group of Vikings wearing horned helmets. Whenever the word "spam" is repeated, they begin singing and/or chanting. A man and his wife enter. The man is played by Eric Idle, the wife is played by Graham Chapman (in drag), and the waitress is played by Terry Jones, also in drag.

Man: You sit here, dear.
Wife: All right.
Man: Morning!
Waitress: Morning!
Man: Well, what've you got?
Waitress: Well, there's egg and bacon; egg sausage and bacon; egg and spam; egg bacon and spam; egg bacon sausage and spam; spam bacon sausage and spam; spam egg spam spam bacon and spam; spam sausage spam spam bacon spam tomato and spam;
Vikings: Spam spam spam spam ...
Waitress: ... spam spam spam egg and spam; spam spam spam spam spam spam baked beans spam spam spam ...
Vikings: Spam! Lovely spam! Lovely spam!
Waitress: ... or Lobster Thermidor a Crevette with a mornay sauce served in a Provencale manner with shallots and aubergines garnished with truffle pate, brandy and with a fried egg on top and spam.
Wife: Have you got anything without spam?
Waitress: Well, there's spam egg sausage and spam, that's not got much spam in it.
Wife: I don't want ANY spam!
Man: Why can't she have egg bacon spam and sausage?
Wife: THAT'S got spam in it!
Man: Hasn't got as much spam in it as spam egg sausage and spam, has it?
Vikings: Spam spam spam spam ... [Crescendo through next few lines]
Wife: Could you do the egg bacon spam and sausage without the spam then?
Waitress: Urgghh!
Wife: What do you mean 'Urgghh'? I don't like spam!
Vikings: Lovely spam! Wonderful spam!
Waitress: Shut up!
Vikings: Lovely spam! Wonderful spam!
Waitress: Shut up! [Vikings stop] Bloody Vikings! You can't have egg bacon spam and sausage without the spam.
Wife: I don't like spam!
Man: Sshh, dear, don't cause a fuss. I'll have your spam. I love it. I'm having spam spam spam spam spam spam spam beaked beans spam spam spam and spam!
Vikings: Spam spam spam spam. Lovely spam! Wonderful spam!
Waitress: Shut up!! Baked beans are off.
Man: Well could I have her spam instead of the baked beans then?
Waitress: You mean spam spam spam spam spam spam ... [but it is too late and the Vikings drown her words]
Vikings [Singing elaborately] : Spam spam spam spam. Lovely spam! Wonderful spam! Spam spa-a-a-a-a-am spam spa-a-a-a-a-am spam. Lovely spam! Lovely spam! Lovely spam! Lovely spam! Lovely spam! Spam spam spam spam!

Hear it in RealAudio!

Comments on "The spam skit"

 

Blogger benning said ... (5:05 PM, April 13, 2006) : 

As funny as the Spam sketch is on film, it is even more hilarious as an audio. I had the album soon after it was released - many decades ago! - and even my Mom giggled at it. She likes Monty Python, but needs to hear it often, otherwise she cannot follow the accents.

American women, eh? LOL

The best line is: "Bloody Vikings!"

 

Anonymous Anonymous said ... (2:32 AM, June 12, 2006) : 

Nice idea with this site its better than most of the rubbish I come across.
»

 

Blogger Achtur said ... (10:57 AM, June 23, 2006) : 

You can watch Monty Python's sketch at:

http://www.youtube.com/v/d7uFntk0Bnk

So funny!

 

Blogger Achtur said ... (11:00 AM, June 23, 2006) : 

Sorry, I meant:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d7uFntk0Bnk

 

Anonymous Anonymous said ... (7:32 AM, July 21, 2006) : 

Super color scheme, I like it! Keep up the good work. Thanks for sharing this wonderful site with us.
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Anonymous Anonymous said ... (8:32 PM, August 10, 2006) : 

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Anonymous Anonymous said ... (5:42 AM, August 16, 2006) : 

I like it! Good job. Go on.
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Blogger Scott McLean said ... (6:49 AM, July 12, 2007) : 

anyone got a spam map? then we can all go there forthwith.

 

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